Monthly Archives: April 2017

Just be you- Avoiding Stereotypical Beauty Blogging

I have to be honest with you, I feel like my previous blog design was not me. Well, it was me, but only a little part of me. It was very girly and very pink. I am very girly and I do have a thing for pink.. but did you know that my favourite colour is actually blue?

Colours aside, what I am trying to say is that I feel like my blog was not representing who I am. I felt like the design categorised me to some extent as just another “beauty blogger.” As much as I love beauty, it is not my main passion nor is it the main thing I blog about; I never even set out to make just a beauty blog, but i became nervous to write about anything else. I felt like I was getting a toothache every time I looked at my blog with the nauseating, overtly sugary girly tones. I left it that way for so long as I knew it appealed to a certain audience, but I have to be myself and be honest about how I feel in regards to blogging.

I feel like when I started blogging, I got a bit sucked in to the stereotypical beauty blog style of blogging because it seemed to attract more views… and it’s not really me. I have so many interests. Vintage beauty is a really big part of that, but I found I haven’t even done that many posts on vintage beauty because I felt myself trying to pander to what I thought people would want to read. I haven’t been doing that recently. I never cared about getting followers or views, I just wanted to write about what I love and talk to people who liked the same things as me. Now, I only write what I want to write and I have noticed that people do actually care about what I have to say, which is really nice. I have managed to get to know so many awesome blogs and people just through being authentically myself, and it makes me really happy.

With my new-found confidence in myself and what I like to write, I decided to just strip away at my blog and create something that I am actually proud of, which means I have deleted some posts and changed a few things around. Blogging is escapism for me and a way for me to vent at times and I want to create a space where I can talk about what I truly love, which I set out to do in the beginning. I am really happy with the direction my blog is going in and I hope you like it too!

I find that a lot of people get trapped in the stereotypical “beauty blogger” style of blogging. I am all for people writing whatever the hell they want, but so many blogs are near identical now because people get trapped in to writing what sells. It is the same as a lot of content makers on YouTube. Blogging becomes less about creating original content and more about selling particular products in order to gain views and followers.

Don’t get me wrong, I love beauty blogs. They are a great way to discover new products and get new ideas on fashion and makeup styles… but so many blogs just mimic each other which is such a shame. I don’t think that everyone needs to strive to be different by any means, but blatantly copying posts just because they gain views is a bit… well its just a bit sad and unfair on those who have tried really hard to write original content. But it is so easy to get trapped in to.

I feel like a lot of bloggers are afraid to write about the things they love, because views and followers have become more important than really good content. It seems to be quantity over quality a lot of the time. It is not even the bloggers fault, it’s just the way society is. Certain things sell, certain things do not and some things just sell less than others.

When you create a blog, just be you. Write and create what you want to create, forget about views and followers, it is not the most important thing in the world. You’ll find you actually gain more of those when you are being yourself anyway. Every single person on this planet is unique and has something different to contribute. You never know, you might stumble across a few new faces along the way!

Disclaimer- I do not mean to offend any one with my own opinions. They are literally just MY opinions and obviously, you can write whatever the fuck you want and design your blog however you like. There are just certain things I would rather not do and that is okay. If your blog is sugary and pink, good for you! If your blog is black and dark, brill! It is your choice. But blatantly copying someone else’s content is, in my opinion, wrong. That’s all I have left to say!

Have a lovely afternoon!,



It Is Okay To Not Have It All Figured Out Yet. It Is Not Okay to Wallow In Self Pity About It.

It is so easy to feel like you are not good enough. That you are not successful, attractive, wealthy or smart enough. It is easy to compare yourself to others and make yourself feel even more inadequate, but I am about to give you some honest advice that you may not like to hear. I am not going to sugar coat it and give you fluffy advice to “follow your dreams” because you might not even know what your dreams are. Maybe, like me, you have lots of different passions or ideas but you haven’t quite pin pointed where you want to go yet.

I am not going to mollycoddle you and tell you everything is going to be okay, because unless you start getting your shit together and actually trying to do something about it, it’s not.

Nothing in this lifetime will come easy to you, unless you happen to be in a very rare circumstance of extreme wealth and privilege. However, if you have the luxury to be on a laptop, tablet or phone reading this right now, you are already more privileged than over 60% of the global population.  Fuck it, if you have food, running water and a roof over your head, you’re a lucky bastard.

I am not saying that these things guarantee a happy life, because life does not work that way. There are a lot of things that make life feel shitty. Mental Illness does not have a type and it can affect anyone, no matter the background. You could be the queen but still have major fucking depression and anxiety. It sucks.

But, self-pity? I am not a fan. It does not do you any good to wallow in self pity, saying what you wish you had and how you wish things were, In fact I believe it is a surefire way to make sure that you fail. You are in control of your own life for the most part and you have the ability to change it. When we change our outlook on life, the world changes. When we become grateful, we become wealthier and I do not just mean in regards to money. When we love what we already have, no matter what situation we are in, we already feel happier. It may not be your ideal, but it is a start.

Stop sulking about what you don’t have and do something about it. I am going to state the obvious and say it is hard to go after what you want, when you do not know what you want. But, you can’t just sit around and do nothing. You have to be proactive and try. Try everything! As the title says, it is okay not to have it all figured out yet. Most of us don’t and even those who look as if they have it all, might even feel exactly the way you feel right now. You can not judge your own life by someone else’s. That is a recipe for disaster no matter who you are.

At the end of the day, if you tell yourself that you are not good enough, that is what you believe. Would you tell a child they are not good enough? Would you stand there and tell them that they are not smart enough? Not attractive enough? No sane person would. You would encourage them and guide them. You would build up their confidence so that the believe they can do anything. If you wouldn’t say the things you tell yourself to a child, then why tell them to yourself?

I can not give you a manual on what you should do in order to “achieve your dreams” or get to where you want to be. Only you will know that and know the necessary steps you need to take to get there. Like I said before, you may have a handful of interests and it may just be a case of trial and error. You are going to fail before you get it right, so do not let that stop you.

I agree, that dealing with mental health issues complicates things quite a bit. But, if you can speak to someone, anyone who will listen. I am going to admit something I never have admitted before. I am pretty open about the struggles I have had with depression and anxiety in the past. But, I never admitted how low it got for me. Around this time last year, I was at a point in my life where i felt so suicidal, so worthless and so pathetic that I really did consider taking my life. I felt I had nothing to live for. I spent two hours on the phone to a confidential charity line called The Samaritans, laying in my University bed, thinking about when and how I was going to kill myself. I will never know the woman I spoke to. She will never know the enormity of what she did for me that night. She listened to me and made me realise that things did not have to be this way.

Slowly but surely, I worked on my mindset and mental health. My god, it was hard. I had been dealing with mental health issues since I was 14 years old and I did not know anything else. I don’t think I had ever really done anything to help myself before that night on the phone. It took a lot of hard work, patience and tears to get myself where I am today and I would say I am 100% free of depression and suicidal thoughts. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I’d be lying if I said I was over my anxiety because I am not. It is still there to some extent, but I can cope with it now. It is truly insane what a change of mindset has done for me. Especially when I stopped feeling sorry for myself.

Because that is the key thing. For the most part, what you are feeling is in your head. There are emotions that may never go away, but that does not mean that there is nothing we can do to cope with it or at least try. The moment we give up hope, we have nothing. There is a famous quote that says “hope is the ability to see the light in the darkest of times.” Hope is the key starting point but it is your actions that will define everything for you. You need to give it a go to actually get anywhere. Our mistakes and trials are what develop us as people and are what help us to learn and grow.

We do not develop character and strength through doing nothing. Our struggles, losses, heartbreak, suffering… they all make us what we are. There is a point where you can choose to stay in the mindset of “nothing will ever change”, or you can take matters in to your on hands and try.

Just try.





Surgery Update- I finally have a date! Kind of.

This is only going to be a very short post but I just wanted to say that I finally, after what felt like years of waiting, have a surgery date! Well, kind of.

There are two possible dates in the beginning and middle of May that I will be having surgery, but they will book me in for the earlier one if they can. It all depends on how soon my second surgeon is available. The reason I have been waiting so long is because they were struggling to find a date in which both my gynecological surgeon and urologist surgeon are available and also because my main surgeon was booked up for the entirety of April with appointments that could not be moved, likely due to the fact my surgeon deals with a lot of patients with confirmed cancer diagnosis. As I do not have a confirmed cancer diagnosis and have very low risk of malignancy, Ii had to wait a bit longer which although is selfishly quite frustrating, I would obviously rather wait if someone in a worse condition than me needs help. I am a fairly patient person but the past couple of months or so have felt like an eternity so I am just glad to finally have some kind of information to work with.

It has been a really strange thing to come to terms with since I had my diagnosis- not so much because I need major surgery but more due to the fact that what I have is so abnormal. I have a large ovarian cyst… abnormally large… in fact it is so huge that most doctors I see are completely gobsmacked by it and the fact it was misdiagnosed more than once. To give some kind of context, my best friend has an ovarian cyst that is about 3cm in size and in her letter from the doctor they described it as large… mine is about the size of a baby in the late stage of pregnancy if not bigger; my best friends and I had a bit of a giggle over that as you can imagine, because its just so ridiculously big. I will possibly post some pictures of before an after surgery but that is not something I feel comfortable doing until this is all over with.

I have reached the point where I am just relieved that this alien is going to be removed from my body. Although it may have some very unpleasant consequences, nothing is ever going to be as horrible to deal with as having this thing in my body. I will be glad to see it go and my nerves are fairly minimal right now. (I am sure ill be more nervous on the day of surgery however.) I am really proud of myself because I have kept my shit together pretty well through all of this. I feel ready to take on anything now and I cant wait to recover and get on with my life. I will of course post more updates as I get more information but that is all for today!

Lots of love,



Why Rescue Animals & Meet Our New Kitty!

Last Friday, my boyfriend and I adopted a cat! We have both wanted a cat for a really long while but it never seemed to be the right time to get one, so it is not something I thought would ever happen until a good few years down the line. However, last week my boyfriend witnessed a cat get hit by a car. Luckily, he took the cat to the nearest vet and found out that the cat was micro chipped so the owners could be contacted- the cat also survived which was happy ending! This incident seemed to be what spurred the decision to finally adopt a cat and it all happened very quickly from there on. The cat has quickly become one of the most precious things to me on this planet and I love him so much.

We always knew that if we got a cat, it would be a rescue cat and not a cat from a breeder. If you did not know already, I am a huge animal lover, believer in animal rights and activism, animal conservation/rehabilitation and also a proud vegetarian, so it is really, really important to me that we choose to buy rescue animals over breeder animals, but ill explain that in more detail later on in this post. First, i’d like to introduce you to our cat!

About Our Cat


First, I should probably tell you his name. He is called “Gustavo”, after the character Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad, but we call him Gus for short. Yes, we named our cat after a major drug kingpin. It just seemed very fitting for our little guy. He is a long haired, super-soft, black and white fluffy cat.

We rescued Gus from a local RSPCA shelter. If you are unfamiliar with the RSPCA, they are the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and operate in England and Wales. When Gus was a kitten, he was left in a carrier bag with another cat. He was in such a bad state when the RSPCA found him that he had to have all but four of his teeth removed- luckily he can still eat as if he never lost a tooth! It breaks my heart that people can be so cruel to animals, especially ones as gentle and loving as our little Gus. The RSPCA believe that he is roughly 10 months old now, but he still acts very much like a kitten and he is super happy and playful. You would never know he had a horrible past. His favourite toys are shoelaces and balls of paper, he absolutely loves fuss and attention and he really enjoys sleeping in the back of my boyfriends clothes drawer. He really likes company, which is great for me as I am signed off of work sick for a few months and it gives me a little companion whilst I am at home awaiting surgery.


I thought it was going to be extremely hard to choose one cat, because I knew i would want to keep them all. But, as soon as I walked through the doors, Gus jumped up on to my shoulders and I fell in love. He chose us, really. He is so affectionate and thinks its a great idea to climb on my boyfriend and I’s heads whilst we try to sleep, but we don’t mind because he is super cute. He is my new best friend and I am so glad we chose to take him home!


We are going to give him the life he really deserves. He is already so spoiled and loved and is now a member of the family.

Why You Should Choose A Rescue Animal Over An Animal From A Breeder

The RSPCA rescue thousands and thousands of animals that have been abandoned, abused or neglected every single year- please remember that these are only statistics from just one organisation, so the figures of rescued animals are astronomically higher than thousands. Think more along the lines of 100’s of thousands of rescue animals in the UK alone. This means that there are an awful lot of furry friends in all shapes, sizes and breeds that need forever homes. There are so many benefits of adopting a rescue also but here are my top three.

  1. It feels good– It is undoubtedly very rewarding to rescue an animal. Knowing you are giving an animal that has been through a rough time a home full of love is a really great feeling. The animal is probably very grateful as well. When we took Gus home, he purred most of the journey back and when we got in to the house, he kept coming up for cuddles and attention. He is truly happy and content which is such a lovely thing to know.
  2. It’s cheaper The majority of animals from rescue shelters come vaccinated, microchipped, and spayed or neutered in the adoption fee. Our cat cost us £60, which included all of these things. On top of that, it included the thousands of pounds worth of dental surgery that he had in order to fix his teeth and restore his health. We also got a month of free health insurance on him and some toys also. He also came toilet trained as most rescue cats do, which obviously is super convenient for us.
  3. The money goes towards fighting animal cruely- The £60 we spent will go towards saving even more animals and keeping organistions like the RSPCA running. That is money well spent.


You can check out more of what the RSPCA does here: Click Me.



Thanks for reading!




My 21st Birthday Celebrations! 14/04/2017

Despite being ill, I had the best 21st Birthday I could have possibly wished for, surrounded by wonderful people and full of laughter and love. Lots of things went wrong and it was completely perfect because of that, I will never forget it and I had the best day ever and could not stop laughing. I started the day at 2am where I woke up and started vomiting due to viral gastroenteritis.  Normally, you vomit at the end of your 21st Birthday from too much alcohol but I like to do things backwards. My boyfriend found it quite funny and decided to snap this beautiful picture of me and my sick bucket:

Happy Birthday to me!

Me looking very sick and fabulous.

Eventually, the vomiting subsided and I got roughly 2 hours of sleep but I woke up and felt absolutely fine! So, my boyfriend and I took a trip to Woburn Safari Park as planned. All was going great and we arrived at Woburn at around lunch time. It was extremely busy as my birthday happened to fall on the bank holiday Good Friday, but we bought our tickets and drove in to the park. If you do not know already, Woburn can only be entered by car as it is a drive around Safari.

So, we are driving along, seeing some cool animals and stuff. Everything is going great and we are just about to drive in to the carnivore enclosure when my boyfriend stalls his car which he never normally does. He then goes to turn on his car but it wont turn on. He tries so many times to turn the car on but it just wont start! This is a brand new car so immediately we are like “what the fuck.” We have now broke down, on a busy bank holiday, outside a lion enclosure. There are literally hundreds of cars driving past and staring wondering what is going on whilst we are sat wondering what on earth to do. We call a park ranger to let them know and we sit for half an hour waiting to be rescued.

Half an hour later, the ranger turns up and asks what is going on with the car. My boyfriend explains what happened and as he goes to demonstrate that the car will not turn on, it turns on! We both start laughing, a little embarrassed but glad the car seems to be working again but instead of continuing the safari, we decided to have our tickets refunded and go and get the car checked out to see what is wrong with it. The car turned out to be completely fine and we ended up going to Woburn on Easter Sunday instead, but I had to include this little story as I found it too hilarious!

By this point we have the rest of the day free so we decide to grab some lunch and go home and watch the Star Wars film- Rogue One, which I am more than happy to do as I am a huge star wars fan and I love relaxing at home with my boyfriend in my Chewbacca dressing gown. I still had my birthday dinner to look forward to, so we just stayed at home until then.


My Birthday  Dinner!

I had my birthday dinner at one of my favourite restaurants called Zizzi, which is a lovely Italian restaurant that has a fantastic vegetarian and dairy free menu. Our table was aptly booked for 21 people and I truly had a fantastic night. The service was incredible and the food was amazing.

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 My beautiful best friends Vikki and Amy, put together the most thoughtful birthday gift ever and I ended up bursting in to tears when I opened it because it was just so kind of them to do. It clearly took them hours also! It was a big box full of goodies including a scrapbook full of funny memories and photographs that they made themselves, crafting bits and bobs, a jar of lovely notes (Vikki and Amy, I know about the cream tea you owe me btw!!!), a cute little lamb toy, plenty of vegetarian friendly goodies including delicious homemade marshmallows and also some makeup from YSL! They also wrote me letters that I can open before and after surgery which was so thoughtful.  I love you both so much!


Also, my boyfriend got me tickets to see my favorite band The Staves in Brighton this June. Depending on when my surgery is, we will go, but it is something to look forward to nonetheless! I had the best birthday ever. I am not normally one to do much on my birthday but as it was my 21st and because I have had a bit of a rough year I thought fuck it, I am celebrating.

A quick shout out to Cake-A-Liscious MK who made my incredible Unicorn Birthday cake and cupcakes! They were so beautiful and delicious and everyone loved it! I have attached the page for you all to check out as the baker Charmaine is truly talented.


Thank you to every one who wished me a happy birthday, sent cards and came to my dinner. I love you all and I feel very overwhelmed by how much love and support I am surrounded by. That is all for today! Keep your eyes peeled for my blog post on Woburn Safari Park that is going up later today!


Lots of love,



What a busy week!

Hello everyone! I have been a little inactive on here over the past week or two but I am going to explain why as I have had a lot going on! For the past week I have had a really bad spout of Viral Gastroenteritis and was at the hospital twice just to check that everything is okay- stomach bugs are horrible at the best of times but my already dodgy insides definitely did not appreciate yet another thing… My surgeon is back from holiday today as well so I think I have been feeling a little bit stressed and nervous whilst I anticipate a surgery date. Also, my best friend is currently unwell and having surgery today as she has suspected appendicitis so I am feeling a bit nervous for her as well.

When I have not been having 4am vomiting sessions and nausea throughout the day, I have been up to some exciting things as well! On the 14th of April I celebrated my 21st Birthday. Admittedly, I had been throwing up in the morning on my birthday but luckily the nausea subsided during the day and I was able to have an amazing day. I went out for a lovely dinner in the evening with 20 lovely people and had an amazing time. I could barely eat my food but the little I did have was delicious. I will be doing a separate post on my birthday as I had quite a funny day!

Although I was sick over the weekend mostly in the early hours of the morning, I managed to go out for the day on Easter Sunday to Woburn Safari Park with my boyfriend. I go to the safari park quite a lot as it is very close to where I live but this time was extra special as I met an elephant and cuddled a lovely lemur and saw the new baby bears! Cute animals are perfect for easing a stomach flu. I was adamant that I wasn’t going to let a virus steal my birthday weekend off of me so I enjoyed it as fully as I could!

I managed to get a full nights sleep last night and eat some breakfast and keep it all down which has been fabulous! I do not think the virus has fully gone yet but for now I am feeling a whole lot better and am looking forward to getting lots of new blog posts up! Blogging for me is so therapeutic and it keeps my mind off of all the little life annoyances such as viruses and surgery. I am in very high spirits today and am ready to get back to blogging.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. I’d love to know what you got up to over the weekend! Please let me know in the comments below!

Lots of love!




Another Health Update; Not looking too good. 11/04/07

Hello all! I have not been posting as much over the past couple of weeks because truthfully I haven’t been feeling great. I spent this morning at the hospital because I woke up feeling extremely nauseated and sick. Due to my current health issues, any significant change like this is a bit of a red flag so I have to get it checked out. I found out that my kidney has deteriorated a bit more since my last test and it is no longer concentrating urine the way it should be. My doctor showed me my test results and my results are the exact opposite of what they should be, which obviously is not very good. For some people this can happen because they drink too much water. Your urine should be a pale yellow colour whereas mine is completely clear. It is a huge misconception that this is a good thing because urine should never be too dark or too light. In my case, my doctor believes it is because the Ovarian Cyst is so large that it is really pushing against the kidney which has obviously damaged it, which is why I am having a stent placed in when they remove my cyst and ovary. It is become more and more apparent that I need to have this operation ASAP. I should of had it weeks ago and my doctor was shocked at the fact I am still waiting for a date. I am visiting my GP tomorrow to see if this can be sped up, but considering I am on the urgent list and cancellation list, they are already trying hard to fit me in. My surgeon returns back from holiday next week so hopefully I will hear something soon. Apparently they will likely be doing some medical studies and journals on my case as they said they have never seen anything like it in someone of my age, which is quite interesting! If not slightly unnerving…

In the meantime however, I have been prescribed Co-Codomol to ease the pain and I am just trying to distract myself while I wait. It is my 21st Birthday this Friday which is something to look forward to! I can’t drink obviously, but it will be nice to spend time with lots of family and friends. I really hope I get a date soon. My patience is wearing a bit thin now and I am feeling worse as the days go by. I will keep you all updated but this is all I know for now! Fingers crossed that this will be over soon.

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